


//

by fyeahimking



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Blood, Depressing, Gore, Overdose, Sadness, but like a sum up of events type thing, everyone is mentioned because it's not really a narrative, i dont know what the right term is, kind of, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 13:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5292185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fyeahimking/pseuds/fyeahimking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(despite her heart beating guiltily she never tells her best friend)</p>
            </blockquote>





	//

**Author's Note:**

> This is depressing, I know. 
> 
> Most of the things I write are depressing. I know that as well.
> 
> I've been trying to get into this kind of writing, the 'kind of a list of dates and a sum of events in each paragraph' type and this was my first try with GMW as the subject. This is Maya-centric and circulates around her life and relationships from thirteen to eighteen. 
> 
> I don't have a song that really _goes_ with this piece but I'm still going to put the one I've been listening to on repeat lately. 
> 
> Head Over Heels - Digital Daggers (O: Tears For Fears)

 

 

 _[13]_ Maya tells her mother that it’s okay she missed the art show while she tucks Katy into bed. She scrubs her skin until it's red and shiny and she brushes her teeth until her gums bleed because she needs the smell of the vodka to go away. (maybe she likes watching her blood swirl down the sink as well)

 

**_//_**

 

 _[14]_ Maya insists that Riley goes for it with Lucas because she gets a lump in her throat as she watches the brunette’s eyes sparkle at the blond boy’s appearance. She does her best to stomp on her heart to make the feelings go away but instead it lies on her bedroom floor, broken and bloody but somehow still beating. (she doesn’t bother putting it back into her chest)

 

**_//_**

 

 _[15]_ Maya kisses a girl on her first day of high school and she likes it, she likes it a lot. She wonders what it would be like to kiss Riley and she wonders if she ever actually liked Lucas or if she wanted him to save her. He definitely seemed like he could. (despite her heart beating guiltily, she never tells her best friend)

 

**_//_**

 

 _[16]_ Maya gets a job working at Starbucks for some extra cash during Christmas time. There’s a day that Josh comes in holding the hand of a tall blond girl but his eyes flicker to Maya, burning their way through her skin. She ignores him and ignores him and ignores him and he looks heartbroken when he finally leaves. (honestly she’s never felt stronger)

 

**_//_**

 

 _[17]_ Maya feels like something has settled inside of her chest, a spider or a snake, some kind of venomous animal hell-bent on taking people’s lives. Katy actually manages to be sober for a while and notices when Maya doesn’t go to school for two weeks straight. The doctor says she’s manic-depressive and that she’s going to have to deal with it for the rest of her life. (she takes twelve of the pills he prescribed her all at once and she’s pretty sure her heart stopped beating (sadly, it started back up at some point))

 

**_//_**

 

 _[18]_ Maya lets Lucas kiss her at the graduation party but she lets Riley lead her to one of the thirty bedrooms in Missy Bradford’s expensive mansion. She doesn’t regret what happens, at least she doesn’t think she does but she feels terrified when she sees the look on Riley’s face the next day. It’s obvious that what they’ve done is the end of their friendship in one way or another and she feels compelled to take all of her pills. (she does it)

 

**_//_**

 

 _[0]_

 

Riley questions why Maya did it, especially when it felt like everything was falling into place.  


 

Farkle doesn’t because he’s smart and he knows what the darkness looks like, whether it’s in Maya’s eyes or his own.  


 

Lucas wonders if it was his fault despite the fact that he barely talked to her during their senior year.  


 

Riley tries to fall in love with Lucas but it doesn’t work, so she’s stuck holding hands with a boy she didn’t manage to love while wishing for the girl she doesn’t think she would’ve known how to love. (she swears she still would’ve tried)  


 

Farkle goes to Harvard and takes his anti-anxiety meds and buries the fact that this was his fault deep down under himself but somehow it digs itself up and follows him around until he cracks. (he’s not sure where he’s supposed to go from here)  


 

Lucas pretends he loves Riley but it’s not as easy as he thought it would be because he’s not sure he understands love, he only understands anger and shredded knuckles and cracked bones. (he tells himself he’s better but everyone knows it’s a lie)

 


End file.
